1. When you enter a traditional synagogue, put on a kippah [yarmulke] if you are a male (supplies are kept in almost every shul), and keep it on—even during the Kiddush and/or meal that follows the service. [In some liberal congregations, women cover their hair as well, while Orthodox women generally cover their hair if they are married. See #6 below for more information.]
2. In traditional synagogues it is forbidden, even after the service, to smoke on Shabbat (ask if you’re not aware of synagogue policy).
3. On some occasions, following the Kiddush there will be a lunch to which guests of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are invited. [Kiddush is the blessing of sanctification of Shabbat over a cup of wine, but in this context, it used more broadly to include also the snacks or light meal provided after the blessing is said.] Don’t automatically assume that if you’ve been to services, you are invited to the lunch. However, you are usually invited for Kiddush.
4. It is bad form to take a Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift with you when you go to a traditional synagogue on Shabbat. Carrying is prohibited on Shabbat, and most traditional synagogues treat this prohibition seriously. Taking a monetary gift with you even in envelopes is especially offensive, since this not only ignores the prohibition against carrying, it also ignores the prohibition against handling money (and things representing money, such as checks, bonds, etc.) on Shabbat.
5. The no-carry principle in a traditional synagogue on Shabbat is also, by extension the don’t-bring-a-pocketbook (handbag, suitcase briefcase, etc.) dictum.
6. An extension of the no-money principle is the “don’t jangle the change in your pocket if you’re bored” rule.
7. In traditional synagogues, women commonly cover their hair during the service. Frequently, lace nets are provided for women who forget to wear a hat or scarf.
8. In traditional Judaism, writing is prohibited on Shabbat and holidays, so needless to say, don’t go to synagogue with your Bic sticking out of your breast pocket (or with cigars sticking out either—see no. 2 above).
9. While there is no problem in the Reconstructionist, Conservative, and Reform movements about riding to synagogue in a car on Shabbat, Orthodox synagogues do not condone driving. Accordingly, try to be sensitive to such feelings when confronted with the situation. There is no reason to park your car in the synagogue parking lot or right in front of the building when you could park a block away and offend no one.
10. In many synagogues men [and women] wear tallitot [prayer shawls] during the morning service (both Shabbat and weekdays). On weekdays, men [and in some communities, women also] wear tefillin for the Morning Service. If you own these articles bring them to the appropriate services. If you don’t own a tallit, almost any synagogue will provide you with one; if you don’t own tefillin, some synagogues will be able to provide and some won’t. In any case, in some shuls it is not a social solecism to pray without tefillin. Women should use their own sensitivity and discretion to guide them in the matter of wearing tefillin and tallitot. [In Orthodox synagogues, most women do not wear them, though some individual women choose to do so. In liberal synagogues, women and men generally follow the same customs.]
11. For all occasions when you enter a synagogue you should dress appropriately. Perhaps it is not fitting to approach God when you are not carefully attired; certainly it shows no respect to a community to ignore its standards of dress. In traditional synagogues women should wear dresses with sleeves and men should wear clean, pressed slacks and shirts Most synagoguesprefer jacket and tie. Some synagogues are tolerant of women in slack suits; others are not. Check the local policy before sallying forth.
12. Except for nos. 1, 3, 7, 10, and 11 above, these rules do not apply during a normal weekday service
Entering the Synagogue
As you enter the synagogue/sanctuary/prayer room, you should have the following (women are not required [by traditional Jewish law] to don the first three; some synagogues may even frown on a woman wearing these articles [while other synagogues actively encourage it], so let your own sensitivities decide):
· kippah (except in many Reform temples)
· tallit (ditto)
· tefillin (ditto; you need them only on weekdays)
· siddur [prayer book]
· Humash [Bible] (only on Shabbat, holidays, Monday and Thursday)
The last two items can usually be found in bookcases either right before you enter the room or right after. In some shuls the siddurim (plural of siddur) are placed on each seat, and the Bibles are given out by the usher just before the Torah service begins. In some traditional shuls you don’t take a humash from the bookcase until the time for the Torah reading. In such shuls you simply amble over to the bookcase at that time (along with everyone else) and pick one up.
The tallit (and/or tefillin) can be put on either before entering the room or when you get to your seat (the latter is usually the case with tefillin).The kippah is put on before entering the room.
Where to Sit
In most synagogues you can sit wherever you like. If you are there for a simha—joyous occasion—such as a bar/bat mitzvah, an usher may show you to the area where the family and relations are sitting.
If it is an Orthodox synagogue, remember that men and women sit in separate areas.
In a few synagogues the regular members have customary seats. Sometimes there are seat plaques to indicate such seats; at other times you just have to step (sit) carefully. Often you will be told which areas are open territory The eastern wall (the wall with the ark) is a place of honor in old-style synagogues, and in general you shouldn’t just wander over and sit down there.
In addition to the tips listed here, it is important also to remember that in Orthodox synagogues, men and women sit separately—and often enter the sanctuary through separate entrances—so visitors need to find the appropriate sections and entrances for each gender. Reprinted with permission from The Second Jewish Catalog, edited by Sharon Strassfeld and Michael Strassfeld (Jewish Publication Society).
Pronounced: KID-ush, Origin: Hebrew, literally holiness, the blessing said over wine or grape juice to sanctify Shabbat and holiday.
Pronounced: KEE-pah or kee-PAH, Origin: Hebrew, a small hat or head covering that Orthodox Jewish men wear every day, and that other Jews wear when studying, praying or entering a sacred space. Also known as a yarmulke.
Pronounced: shuh-BAHT or shah-BAHT, Origin: Hebrew, the Sabbath, from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.
Pronounced: tah-LEET or TAH-liss, Origin: Hebrew, prayer shawl.
Pronounced: tuh-FILL-in (short i in both fill and in), Origin: Hebrew, phylacteries. These are the small boxes containing the words of the Shema that are traditionally wrapped around one’s head and arm during morning prayers.
Pronunced: TORE-uh, Origin: Hebrew, the Five Books of Moses.