Looking back, I didn’t totally enjoy my bar mitzvah party. Mostly because I vomited at it.
No, I didn’t have some crazy uncles who brought me to a back room to get me drunk. Nor did I have any crazy friends who brought me to a back room to get me drunk. Nor did I have parents who brought me to a back room to get me drunk.
I just vomited.
I had this weird thing as a kid where it seemed like every Sunday, I would get these terrible headaches and become nauseous. It only happened on Sundays (you can ask my parents, I’m not making this up). They said that it was because I watched too much television (story of my life), but in retrospect, it was probably because I had a messed up sleep schedule on the weekends.
Sidenote: This would also happen any time I would eat pizza. I wasn’t lactose intolerant. I would eat other greasy foods. Yet any time I would eat pizza, I would get sick. I honestly think there was a two year period where I stopped eating it. This had huge effects on my childhood.
Since my bar mitzvah was in June, we had a Sunday night party because Shabbat ended far too late to start partying. Overall, I think people had a good time. But between the great food, my pre-existing headache and, of course, the bouncy machines, I spent a good hour of my party sleeping on a chair in the synagogue office.
Where I’m getting at is that Gabrielle Birkner of the Forward had a better bat mitzvah party than me, at least in retrospect. Why? Because her DJ later became famous movie star Paul Rudd. She recently has shared her home videos to prove it.
Pronounced: bar MITZ-vuh, also bar meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, Jewish rite of passage for a 13-year-old boy.
Pronounced: baht MITZ-vuh, also bahs MITZ-vuh and baht meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, Jewish rite of passage for a girl, observed at age 12 or 13.
Pronounced: MITZ-vuh or meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, commandment, also used to mean good deed.
Pronounced: shuh-BAHT or shah-BAHT, Origin: Hebrew, the Sabbath, from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.