The most important news story in the history of Judaism (yeah, that’s right “Death of Maimonides. ” You’re old news now).
Lindsay Lohan, of “being so awesome she doesn’t have time to eat” fame, is planning on converting to Judaism. You see, Lindsay’s got this girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. Ronson is a member of the tribe. She apparently has enough of an influence on Lohan that she is willing to join the faith.
In all honesty, I’m loving this. Lindsay, for all her legitimate talent (That isn’t a joke. She’s a good actress.), gets a bad rap. For example, when she was offered a deal with to be a spokesperson for Coke, she misunderstood what they meant. Common mistake. Could have happened to anyone.
So I have a message for Lindsay. You’re gonna love Judaism. We got some traditions that you will fit right into. Like Yom Kippur. And Havdalah (Wine and “B’Samim.”). I’m tell ya, I’m surprised it took you this long to decide to join us.