Jewish Weddings 101
Jewish marriage is integral to God's plan of ongoing creation, which began with the creation of the first human couple, Adam and Eve. Marriage not only provides individual companionship, but it ensures the physical and spiritual survival of humanity by creating communities that reflect divine law.
Modeled on a property transaction in which the groom paid the bride's father a bride price (mohar), marriage has evolved into a more spiritual commitment. Yet even today the legal basis of traditional Jewish marriage is rooted in acquisition, with the marriage effected by the husband's bestowal of a wedding ring and the wife's passive acceptance. Despite the imbalance of power in the husband's favor, however, Jewish law quickly evolved to create protections for women. The ketubah (marriage contract) obligates a husband to provide food, clothing, and sexual satisfaction to his wife. It also includes a lien to be paid by the husband to the wife in case of divorce.
Liturgy, Ritual, and Custom
The Jewish wedding is not just a one-day affair. The "wedding" rituals began with the decision to get married. A tenaim ceremony heralds the upcoming marriage by reading a document of a commitment and shattering a dish. Closer to the wedding is the aufruf, where the groom (or the couple) recites a blessing over the Torah and is showered with candy. The bride has the opportunity to prepare spiritually by immersing herself in the mikveh (ritual pool), a custom many grooms follow as well.
On the wedding day, before the ceremony, the ketubah is signed by two witnesses, and many couples do the bedeken ceremony in which the groom covers the bride's face with a veil.
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