Bad Poetry: The 3rd-Worst Jewish Poem Ever

With only 16 hours to go till Bad Poetry Day begins, we’re beginning our immersion in everything that says Jewish, poetry, and, especially, bad. With more than 200 entries, it was a bad poetry contesttough decision to make. As we asked in the original post: What could be better than bad poetry? Whether it starts with “Horseradish is red/The Red Sea is blue” or rhymes the words “you,” “Jew,” and “snuggle-poo,” it’ll probably make a hit.

Here’s our third-place winner. Jordana Horn — who’s written plenty of non-bad material — treats us to this saga that mixes G-dly love, the love of complicated relationships, food love, and love of being rebellious. (And, really, what says “Jewish” more than food, religious laws, and contrariness?)

For her pains, Ms. Horn wins a copy of David M. Bader’s Haikus for Jews — and bragging rights at any party at which she appears for the next 365 days.

Blue Dishes

He said blue dishes “looked dairy,”
She said she’d use them for meat.
He told her, stop being contrary
But she said she wouldn’t retreat.

You would think that someday, the fight would go away
That love and time both would resolve it.
But you would be wrong:
Marriage can be quite long
And if anything, this fight dissolved it.

There are those who contend that she went ’round the bend
And purely had acted from spite
When, on their silver, he came down the stairs
And was shocked when he turned on the light.
Surrounded by blue dishes in the kitchen was she
She gestured and said, “Here I am!
I TOLD you these dishes were better for meat!”
And he saw. They were covered with ham.

Congratulations, Jordana! Come back this afternoon to read the second-worst Jewish poem ever.

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