Reprinted with permission from Reform Judaism magazine.
Henny Youngman
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up… they have no holidays."
Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn’t met me yet."
Groucho Marx
"Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?"
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George Burns
"This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s read only two."
Mel Brooks
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is if you fall into an open sewer and die."
Oscar Levant
"A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it."
Woody Allen
"It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens."
Marty Feldman
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
