I Am Proud to Be Me

Alexandra Kohl attended the Keshet/Hazon LGBTQ and Ally Teen Shabbaton this April. In the spirit of Pride month, she is sharing a bit of her poetry and thoughts on LGBTQ Pride.

Pride is not automatic.
It is not thrust upon us
like responsibility on a new parent,
nor handed to us
on a silver platter.

Rather, it is found.20140125_0077 Snow Day (427x640)
Bubbling in the depths of our soul.
It grows like the first buds of spring
hindered by the weather
but strong none the less
until it blooms into a full flower.

Why am I proud?
I was proud to be queer
when I first came out
and finally felt myself telling the truth
after a lifetime of lies
as if I had finally brought freedom to myself
instead of shying away
from the life I could live.

I was proud to be queer
when my younger brother came into my room
and said, “Alex, when did you know you weren’t straight”
and after a discussion on my bed
left by saying
“Well, it doesn’t matter”
then added
“I don’t know yet if I’m straight or not.”

I was proud to be queer
when a friend messaged me on Facebook
and trusted me with their biggest secret
“I think I’m bi”
and gave me insight into their life
that no one else knew.

I was proud to be queer
when DOMA and Prop 8 were repealed
and I sat with my friends
and cheered for a victory
that was finally mine
A victory that mattered in my life
A victory not only for me
but for everyone.

But more than just queer
I’m proud to be Jewish
I’m proud to have a community
that welcome me in my entirety
that doesn’t care who I love as long as I love my culture.

I was proud to be a queer Jew
when a transgender child
changed his name in Hebrew school
and then only question asked was
“How does he spell it?”

I was proud to be a queer Jew
when we discussed homosexuality in a Torah studies class
and the entire class agreed
that the is not an excuse to discriminate.

And I am proud to be a queer Jew.
I am proud of the life I live
I am proud of the voice I’ve been given
I am proud of the fear I have destroyed
And I am proud to be me
in the purest, truest form
I am proud to be me.

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