Invite Only

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The High Holidays can prove to be spiritually lacking, particularly for those of us who spend everyday surrounded by Judaism. When having to work on Rosh Hashannah or Yom Kippur, it’s hard to devote yourself to making a deep and meaningful connection with God.

Mason Lerner has a solution for both professional and lay Jews alike. For all of us who feel that the holidays aren’t hitting the right spot anymore: Get excommunicated.

And what better way than to espouse belief in the “Doctrine of the Invitation Only Jews.” Only go to services upon receiving an ribbon-decorated, hand calligraphied, took 75 cents to mail invitation–for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and maybe a wedding here and there.

His first step was to skip High Holiday services, which I’m sure was scary the first time. You could be risking your place in the world-to-come.

“What if the after-life is nothing but a big bureaucracy, and when you get there, they just have a checklist of things that you did or didn’t do. And lets face it, you probably didn’t swing a rooster around your head three times before Yom Kippur and chant, ‘This is my substitute, this is my exchange. This is my atonement. This fowl will go to death, and I will enter upon a good and long life.’, but at least you can get credit for putting on a tie and sitting through services. And that’s something.” (MORE)

Posted on September 17, 2007

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3 thoughts on “Invite Only

  1. BSL1

    I was just sitting in services on Erev Rosh Hashana. My wife and I were deeply bored when I declared that despite our professional associations with the Jewish world, in order for us to maximize the High Holidays, we would need to resign ourselves from Jewish life for the rest of the year. So many have become known as “3 day a year Jews (or sometimes 2 dayers…oy)” yet they come out in droves for RH and YK. Maybe they’re getting something special out of the High Holidays because they’re not experiencing it during the rest of the year. Who’s coming with me???

  2. Ezekah

    [Meredith Kesner Lewis]The High Holidays can prove to be spiritually lacking, particularly for those of us who spend everyday surrounded by Judaism….

    ?p=553Click here to view the full blog posting on: Invite Only

    You forgot to mention that the author was a comedian and he was attempting to be funny.

    Back when I was secular, I still attended the High Holy Days. Trying to think back, I think I believed that twice a y

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