Jon+Hailey+8 (part time) + 8 Days to a Bris=Chai?

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One of my many pet peeves is celebrities who take up Judaism like it’s a hobby. Let’s review, people: Judaism is a RELIGION. If you need something to do in your spare time try jigsaw puzzles, or taxidermy, or curling. Judaism is about providing meaning to your life, and a connection to your history. It’s not about loving Zabar’s.jon_gosselin_engaged_to_hailey_glassman.jpg

Apparently Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 (anyone else think it should be called Jon+4 and Kate+4 now?) lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan these days, so perhaps I’ll have a chance to explain all to his face. Because he seems to be really really confused about what Judaism’s all about. Check out these head-scratchers from his latest interview at Parentdish.  (I can’t be positive, but my guess is these make a lot more sense if you’ve been guzzling the Manischewitz…)

On Celebrating Jewish Holidays:
“This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.”

On Converting:
I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She’s like the best girl ever. All my friends are like ‘I’m so jealous’ and I’m like, ‘Stay away, she’s mine.’ She’s the rock of my life.

On Therapy:
I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don’t need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They’re all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She’ll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think.

Since you care so much about what Jews think, Jon, can I, as a Jew, let you in on a little Jewish wisdom? You sound like a complete whack-a-doo, and we don’t need any more of those in our people.

Posted on October 12, 2009

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5 thoughts on “Jon+Hailey+8 (part time) + 8 Days to a Bris=Chai?

  1. Tamar Fox Post author

    Of course. But loving Zabar’s doesn’t make you Jewish any more than decorating a Christmas cookie makes me Catholic.

  2. nofear155

    Tamar, you should not be upset with Jon. He is like many people, lost, and just trying to find his way in this world. You should be upset with the so-called Jewish influence on his life, they have done a very poor job of helping him find his way. Half Korean and half Jewish, what! No such beast exist, a person is either a Jew or not, there is no half or quarter!

  3. yiddishe kopf

    Instead of beating up on Jon-again-why not realize he has discovered some beautiful qualities of our tribe–the warmth,intelligence, and gastronomical wisdom of Jewish life. Why beat him up for actually liking us? Don’t we have enough enemies nowadays? And by the way, did any of you actually observe Yom Kippur and do your soul search? Better keep an efile for this year–
    off to a big start with a bitter tongue. Jon is o.k. by me!

  4. edbasak

    Tamar,you may have been a tad harsh.After all he has 8 count em,Yes 8 Children and an ex-wife and he wants to stop the cycle of divorce? That thought struck him when? When not to order a bacon egg and cheese? And exactly where were all those Jews if not driving around onYom Kippur? No you were not a to harsh.

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