Author Archives: Suzanne Borden

About Suzanne Borden

Suzanne Borden served as program director at The Washington Institute for Jewish Leadership and Values, which sponsors Panim el Panim High School in Washington, D.C.

Putting the ‘Mitzvah’ Back into Bar and Bat Mitzvah

Reprinted with permission from Jewish Family and Life: Traditions, Holidays, and Values for Today’s Parents and Children, published by Golden Books.

Tikkun olam, repair of the world, is now the buzzword circulating through bar and bat mitzvah celebrations. Mitzvah, after all, refers to our obligations toward God and toward other human beings. Believing that there is something special about becoming a bar/bat mitzvah–something bigger than the party afterward–students across the country are taking on socially responsible community projects, such as collecting clothing or canned foods, giving money to charities, or planting trees in Israel.

bar/bat mitzvah projectsEveryone has heard of bar and bat mitzvah parties where street performers and people in costume are hired to entertain the guests, 12- and 13-year-old children arrive in limousines, and the mother of the bar mitzvah boy changes her outfit every time a new course of dinner is served. Although a certain amount of ostentation will always be with us, there is evidence that the days of splashy, flashy, flamboyant celebrations may be on the decline.

Personal Experiences with Mitzvah Projects

When Michael Vidmar of Gaithersburg, Maryland, became a bar mitzvah in 1993, he decided to give the money he received as gifts to the B’nai B’rith flood relief fund. “I was sick about the materialistic greed surrounding my bar mitzvah and I was ashamed of it,” he said. “I didn’t think I deserved the amounts of money I was receiving, and I felt it was taking away from the religious experience.” Michael did know that he wanted to help other people, and that is why he decided to donate his money to the relief fund.

Alison Stieglitz, now 22, became a bat mitzvah nine years ago. Instead of expensive flower arrangements, she placed baskets filled with food in the center of each table at her party. These baskets would then be donated to the local United Way. “I thought that becoming a bat mitzvah was part of taking on adult responsibilities,” Alison says. “Since my bat mitzvah was around the time of Thanksgiving and I was receiving a lot of gifts, I wanted to give something back to the community. I wanted to contribute.”