Today, I start my campaign to be elected into the National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. From the years 1996-2001, I ruled the Moses Shabbat League in “Wallball” and “Sockey.” Both games made up by the Moses boys, both meant to make Shabbat pass by faster. And for that, I’m expecting the Hall of Fame to call me any day now.
You don’t agree with me? Sockey (a mixture between soccer and hockey, played in my basement) isn’t a real sport? Well, then you should be opposed to Bill Goldberg getting elected to the HOF too. Who is Bill Goldberg? Oh, you know, only a professional wrestler.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love wrestling. And this isn’t me favoring the WWF (now WWE) over the WCW either, though I’m sure everyone would agree that, except for a little period when Hulk Hogan became Hollywood Hulk Hogan, the WWF just had a superior product.
It’s just that wrestling isn’t real. They have writers. The winner is predetermined. At least Sockey was a real competition.
Also, as proven in this video, if you have ever been beaten up by Bam Bam Bigelow, you don’t deserve to be in a sports hall of fame.
Pronounced: shuh-BAHT or shah-BAHT, Origin: Hebrew, the Sabbath, from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.