You Never Forget Your First Time

Not long ago I wrote about that old die-hard myth of Jews having sex through a hole in the sheet. If you were looking for further proof that that’s not how the act takes place, check out nerve.com’s latest in its series called My First Time about, well, exactly that. This one tells the story of a 19-year-old Hasidic man trying to get it on with his wife on their wedding night, and not being entirely successful:

Something was definitely wrong. A piece seemed missing. I was sufficiently erect, she claimed to have no anatomical peculiarities, but something didn’t fit. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t get my penis into any kind of body cavity.

It was almost four in the morning, but I didn’t care. I called the rabbi. “Tell her to lubricate her area with some water,” he advised and hung up. We tried that. Nothing doing. I called the rabbi again. “Tell her to take your ‘organ’ with her hands and direct it to the position.”

Go read the whole thing. It’s fascinating and poignant. You’ll notice that there’s no sheet involved. To my surprise, though, they do seem to have sex while wearing some clothes, which I know in at least some communities is frowned upon. Anyway, in a weird way I think this is a pretty educational piece.