The Rashida Jones All-Stars

I mentioned yesterday that my next post would be my team for the Rashida Jones All-Stars. Now, if you didn’t read my blog post from yesterday, here is a quick recap. On ESPN writer Bill Simmons‘ Friday podcast, he and ESPN fantasy expert Matthew Berry thought of the concept of the “Michael Douglas All-Stars,” a group of celebrities who people don’t realize are Jews.

Rashida Jones is jewish I, in my sports/pop culture/Jewish obsessed brain, thought this was a fantastic idea. The one problem though is that everyone knows that Michael Douglas is Jewish. His father, Kirk, was born Issur Danielovitch for god sakes. So I decided it should be called the “Rashida Jones All-Stars,” named after the very talented “Parks & Recreations” actress.

Before I reveal my list (by reveal, I mean that it is right under this), here are my criteria. 1) Either I didn’t know they were Jewish until I researched this, or if I did, the vast majority of people would not.

2) When I found out, my first reaction was, “ACTUALLY?” For example, I found out that Seth Meyers from Saturday Night Live is Jewish but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. He didn’t make the team.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Rashida Jones All-Stars:


Amanda Bynes, best known for her WB series “What I Like About You.”

Yasmine Bleeth, former Baywatch star. Not well enough known celebrity to warrant making the team.

Ron Jeremy, world’s most famous male porn star. (the link opens to his wikipedia page, don’t worry)

The Bench:

Zac Efron, star of High School Musical.

Neve Campbell, star of “Party of Five,” among other things.

David Duchovny, star of “The X-Files” and “Californication.”

Courtney Love, lead singer of “Hole,” and widow of Kurt Cobain.

Starting Lineup: (I tried to have a good male-female ratio here. But believe me, Courtney Love deserves to be on this list.)

– The one and only, Rashida Jones.

Joaquin Phoenix, no freakin’ way.

Paula Abdul, American Idol.

Sean Penn, from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”

Olivia Newton-John, “Grease.”

If you disagree with any of this, please send in your own list of all-stars. Or if you think I’m secretly an anti-Semite, I love to get that stuff too.

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