Not so long ago, we here at Mixed Multitudes completed, arguably, the greatest food related tournament of all time. Pitting 16 delicious Jewish foods against each other, we, the people, determined that Challah is the greatest Jewish food in the world.
But ESPN, being the sports monopoly that it is, just couldn’t let me be. They had to steal the glory. They had to take my thunder.
Yeah. That’s right. They have started their own food tournament. They have disguised their stealing tactics by replacing the word “Jewish” with “Breakfast Cereals.” Nice try ESPN. But I can see right through this.
What bothers me the most about this is that the bracket is split into two categories, healthy and sugar. That is NOT how food tournaments work buddy. You gotta mix and match! Who can forget the infamous match between Matzah and Apples & Honey? In the finals of this tournament, you’re going to have one healthy and one unhealthy. That’s not March Madness. That sounds more like Major League Baseball where the National and American Leagues only face each other in the World Series.
Also, he ranked both Crispix and Golden Grahams 13th in their respective divisions. I feel like punching somebody. I love those cereals.