We have a really nice article with some tips for someone who’s planning to give a dvar Torah. And when I worked at Jewcy I wrote my own tips, but over at Jewschool they have very wisely posted a lengthy list of tips, tricks, dos and don’ts about giving a sermon that was written by Rev. Victoria Weinstein, a Unitarian minister. Here are some of my favorites:
· Draw from your life. Good sermons come from real-life questions and struggles that have application to our relationships, our work and our inner growth. Lengthy theoretical musings and esoteric expositions have their place, but it is not in the pulpit.
· It helps to know what your conclusion will be before you begin.
· Embody your message. Do you care about what you’re saying? We should be able to see that in your physical presence and hear it in your vocal inflection! Many a beautifully-crafted sermon has been murdered in the cradle by zombie-like delivery.
· Sermons are not free therapy for the preacher, so don’t preach on emotional subjects from which you have no distance and have little or no objectivity. Avoid over-sharing, blaming, or “dumping.”
· NEVER begin a sermon by describing how hard it was to write the sermon, how nervous you are, how little sleep you got last night, or talking about “what I was going to preach about before I changed my mind and came up with this.”
· Never use someone else’s life as an illustration even anonymously if they might be recognized by any member of the congregation; always obtain permission from anyone you will be mentioning by name.
Hanukkah’s gonna be here before you know it. So make sure you’re stocked up on all the holiday goods — Extra-thick schmaltz for frying your latkes. Trick dreidels that always land on gimel. And your own gold-toothed, Burger-King-crowned deity to teach you how to light the menorah….
Yes, that’s right. We’re talkin’ about Todd and God.
If you can’t see the film, just click here to learn how to light the Hanukkah candles in style. And if you do happen to pick up an extra carnivorous snake or Lionel Ritchie album, there’s always room under my menorah….
This past weekend both of my sisters came into town and we had a little Vixen Shabbaton (get it? Foxes…vixens…?). We don’t get to see each other very often, so it was really nice to spend some time together, eat good food and talk about my mom. There was a lot of laughter, which was nice, but by far the highlight of the weekend was on Shabbat morning.
I was slowly waking up, and I heard my younger sister Renana talking in her sleep. At first I couldn’t figure out what she was saying, but after a few seconds I realized she was reciting the Kaddish. She got through the entire Mourner’s Kaddish without waking up, but she did wake up my older sister, Deena, who looked over at me and asked what was going on.
“Oh,” I told her, “Renana’s gotten very frum. She can say the Kaddish in her sleep.”
When we woke Renana up half an hour later she remembered having a dream in which she ran to shul and got there just in time to say Kaddish, but had no idea that she had actually said it out loud.
Sometimes, grief is pretty funny.
(The photo is of Renana, my mother, and my cousin Abigail and it was taken in June).
There’s a fascinating back-and-forth over at The Atlantic between Jeffrey Goldberg and Ta-Nehisi about exoticism and intermarriage in the black community, and in the Jewish community. It’s a short enough exchange that you can easily read the whole thing, but here are a couple of interesting highlights:
JG: The more time I spent in Israel, the more I came to believe that dating “in” was the responsible thing to do, from a future-of-my-people perspective. But weirdly, and maybe you could analyze this for me, Dr. Coates, I didn’t get pissed off at Jewish women who dated out, only Jewish men. In retrospect, I guess I felt sorry for the Jewish women who intermarried, because I sensed that they tried, and failed, to convince Jewish men that they weren’t, in fact, their mothers, that they were intelligent and sexy and all the rest. Jewish men who go outside, I think - and this is not everyone, obviously - are looking beyond the tribe not because they really think they’re going to end up marrying their mothers if they find a Jewish woman, but because they’re scared of Jewish women, especially the intense sort my friends and I all seemed to marry. (”Intense” is a compliment, by the way, because intense keeps things interesting.) They’re scared that these women will see right through them, among other things.
There are upsides, of course, to marrying out - all those new and exciting genes, for one thing, and the opportunity to bring someone new into the fold. And you allude, of course, to the ultimate promise of real integration. Anyway, it’s complicated, and I’m getting the sense you believe, as I do, that blacks and Jews have a lot more in common than lactose intolerance and hard-to-manage hair.
TC: Heh, you just made the textbook black argument against interracial dating. I basically wrote a piece saying exactly this a few years back. I argued that black men should not date out, but that black women should do whatever. My sentiments were much like yours - there really is no doubt, that in most cases, black women are looking out after having at least given the neighborhood a shot. The same couldn’t be said of the dudes, however.
Now, I think that long-term relationships are really, really hard, and should not be subject to ideology. It just seems like, in my experience, relationships rise and fall over dumb practical shit. A lot of black folks worry about disappearing. Not disappearing, I think, in the manner that Jews worry. But like, that we’ll basically slaughter each other and those of us that are left will go to jail. So when you have the chance to build a stable black family, the idea is you’ve got to do it.
There’s something else - despite liberalism, I do take some undeserved pride in being partnered with a black woman. And to make it even more perverse, I take pride in being partnered with a very dark skin black woman. There is the notion of black writers living kind of apart from their community. Now there are very good reasons for why that would be the case. Still, I never wanted any part of that. I always wanted to be of it. And I thought the most obvious way to be off it, was in who you choose to spend your life with. Limited and passe, but that’s me.
JG: You know, nowadays, in liberal Jewish circles, it’s considered a little odiferous to mention that you’d rather have people stay in than go out. I can’t imagine it’s the same in liberal black circles, but is it? Do you get pushback when you talk about the importance of this kind of solidarity?
Two of my last posts have featured my views on Jews, specifically Jordan Farmar, and their relationship with professional basketball. It was sparked by a post on the basketball blog freedarko.com. My response triggered a second post on their site, that currently has 86 (!) comments on its thread.
Luckily for us, the author of those posts, Bethlehem Shoals, sat down and answered a couple of questions for us about basketball, his Judaism and his love for awkward shooting players with big noses.
JM: A lot of our readers may not know what FreeDarko is all about. Can you tell us what it is and what made you guys start your site?
BS: We like to describe FreeDarko as a basketball think tank, which is a fancy way of saying that we write about basketball in more pretentious, academic, creative, and deliberately bizarre ways than mainstream journalists. It stems from our shared outlook on sports, which involves being as interested in the style and psychology of individual athletes as whether their teams win or lose; this also spills over into issues of identity and politics.
We started it because, embarrassingly, we were already writing mini-essays on our fantasy basketball league’s message board, and decided we might as well take it public.
JM: Your pseudo name is Bethlehem Shoals. Is there anything Jewish to that?
BS: Actually, quite the opposite. An African-American friend of mine who also grew up in the South challenged me to come up with the best old church-going lady name I could think of. Bethlehem Shoals jumped out of my mouth, and she called me that for the next few months.
When it came time to start a blog, I went with the only silly name I’d ever had. Though there’s a chance that some Jews were involved in Bethlehem Records or Muscle Shoals Studios, the sources for the name. Well, probably not Muscle Shoals. Strangely, people figure that “Bethlehem” is an allusion to the Holy Land, which is stupid, since that’s the least Jewish town in all of Israel.
JM: We got in contact with each other because I took issue with how you view Jordan Farmar’s Judaism in his game. Do you want to elaborate on why you don’t think his Judaism is as important to his game as I think it is?
BS: I see where you’re coming from: He’s a practicing Jew, you’re Jewish, and therefore you’re proud to have him around. I guess it all depends on what your notion of Jewish identity is. Personally, I’m just as invested in the characteristics that mark certain artists and writers as “Jewish,” or even the kinds of personalities I’m drawn to–which, more often than not, are attached to Jews.
The Woody Allen example was a bad, and obvious, one, but when I look at who I am, and my place in American society, I definitely believe in a sense of community based around–at the risk of sounding totally 19th century–a certain ethnic character. In our case, of course, a lot of it has to do with questioning our character, not knowing where we fit in, what’s ours and what isn’t, and why we care that much to begin with.
As I said in one of my posts, that contradicts the version of American Jewry that deals in absolute poles of assimilation, aliyah, or Orthodoxy. There are interactions between these three, but it’s not the same as an essential state of confusion and contradiction. And yes, you’re right, I don’t really see Israel as figuring that prominently in my Jewish identity, unless you’re talking about the place in 1914.
JM: There are plenty of professional Jewish baseball players and even some Jewish football players. Why is it that Farmar is currently the only Jew in the league? There are tons of Jews who are between 5′11 and 6′6. Do you think it’s a cultural thing?
BS: I don’t think it’s a cultural thing at all. Basketball is mostly identified with African-Americans now, and lord knows Jews have a long history of admiring/ripping off/sort of being down with black cultural forms. I think, to revert to the most cliched answer possible, it is what it is.
JM: You talk a lot about style of play when it comes to Farmar. Who in the league plays the most Jewish? I’m going with Matt Bonner. The man took the freakin’ subway to work while playing for the Raptors.
BS: See, that’s the thing: I want a Jewish player I can get excited about. That’s why, though Bonner once won a dunk contest in high school (was it McDonald’s?), I’m imagining some sort of awkward-yet-athletic slasher with weird timing, good court vision, and a high basketball IQ. I guess I just described Manu Ginobli, didn’t I? Or, as I said in the comments section of my second post, a reincarnated, updated Jack Molinas.
JM: Is Jon Scheyer, the guard at Duke, the next Jewish Jordan? The kid can ball.
BS: Given where I grew up, I don’t watch Duke, and only made an exception when Jason Williams was there.
A propos of nothing, here’s a shocking lost chapter to the Tamir Goodman saga written by a FreeDarko contributor. All true, too.
JM: Fair enough, but let’s say, hypothetically, that Scheyer makes it big in the NBA and has what you define as a Jewish style of basketball. Being a UNC fan, could you root for him? After all, I root for Jordan Farmar and I’m from Sacramento. And if not, am I a traitor?
BS: That’s another thing about FreeDarko: We eschew team loyalty/hatred unless there’s a darn good reason for it. Like, you hate or love the players on the team at that moment. The one exception to that is Duke. So yeah, I’d root for him, provided he could shed that Duke taint like certain NBA players (Elton Brand, Corey Maggette) have.
JM: Finally, do you think that Commissioners David Stern (NBA), Bud Selig (MLB) and Gary Bettman (NHL) are secretly members of the Elders of Zion and running sports leagues is just a way to control the world?
BS: I’ve long called the Stern “the original Elder of Zion,” which kind of makes no sense, but whatever. We thought of doing a shirt once, but I didn’t think anyone would buy it. It was in our book at one point, but the lawyers made us cut it because it counted as libel.
Bethlehem Shoals, born Nathaniel Friedman, is the chief architect of FreeDarko.com and a co-author of The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac. He is a regular contributor for SportingNews.com and SLAM, and has also written for The Nation, Slate, Spin, McSweeneys.com, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. Shoals was raised a faculty brat in Chapel Hill, NC, and attended a conservative shul with a reconstructionist rabbi who reminded him of Bill Clinton.
I’m all about Christmas songs. They are cheery, joyful, sometimes in latin…it doesn’t get better than that. Sadly, I only really know the first lines of every single one because my only frame of reference are Christmas infomercials. In fact, I could probably do a medley of the first lines of Christmas songs (Have a holly, jolly Christmas. Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way) much like Hugh Laurie did on SNL this week.
Where are the good Hanukkah songs though? Maoz Tzur? That’s about killing heathens.
Jeffrey Goldberg at The Atlantic is writing about this very subject. Recalling a conversation he had with Orrin Hatch about their attempt to write a good Hanukkah song, he says that he has yet to find a good list.
I’m gonna try to help him out. I don’t have any current songs but I want to write a song called The Fat Guy with the Large Beard (an Ode to my Zayde for the Holidays). The lyrics will basically be a good recipe for Latkes, followed by an old man eating them.
With extra apple sauce of course.
Until it’s written though, just watch Rasheed Wallace and last year’s Detroit Pistons sing Jingle Bells. Hopefully, they’ll do this again. Watch the whole thing.
Our friends at Craig n’ Co. have let us know about a Hanukkah music special that PBS is broadcasting this month.
Lights! Celebrate Hanukkah Live In Concert features an eclectic group of performers, many of them well-known in the Jewish music scene along with artists not normally associated with the genre or the holiday. Check local PBS TV listings in early December to enjoy this gala holiday special with everyone in the family.
Hanukkah is like, well, basically now. If you didn’t get your kids presents yet, stop reading. They want Ipods. Like every single kind.
For those who remain, I’ve been meaning to get something off my chest. Everyone always connects Dreidel with Hanukkah for some reason. I’ve never been really sure why. My guess is that no one plays Dreidel on Tisha B’Av.
But I never was into this Dreidel hoopla. Why?
The hidden answer is because I’m cheap but the more obvious answer is that I’m not lame. So even with all the press coverage on dreidels (if you type it in on Google, MJL is #3 after Wikipedia and holidays.net. Take that ilovedreidels.com), I never really learned the rules to the game.
There was a really cute baby in the MJL office today, and it got us talking about baby names and how they are so important. I’ve been writing about this a lot lately, and thinking about it even more, because it seems half the people I know are new parents or about to become new parents. I’ve heard of some pretty weird choices when it comes to baby names, but the creepiest baby name award definitely goes to the Campbell Family of Holland Township:
JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell and Adolf Hitler Campbell.
Good names for a trio of toddlers? Heath and Deborah Campbell think so. The Holland Township couple has picked those names and the oldest child, Adolf Hitler Campbell, turns 3 today.
This has given rise to a problem, because the ShopRite supermarket in Greenwich Township has refused to make a cake for young Adolf’s birthday.
“We believe the request … to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate,” said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.
The Campbells turned down the market’s offer to make a cake with enough room for them to write their own inscription and can’t understand what all of the fuss is about.
Adolf Hitler Campbell will be getting a cake from Wal-Mart this year.
“ShopRite can’t even make a cake for a 3-year-old,” said Deborah Campbell, 25, who is Heath’s wife of three years and the mother of the children. “That’s sad.”
