Everyone deals with little critical voices in their heads, but believe it or not, you actually have a lot more control over this voice than you may think! Below are some tips, tricks, and reminders to help you get that critical voice under control because it definitely doesn’t have to control you.
1. If it says something negative, talk back to it out loud.
It may talk in your head, but you control your mouth.
2. Remember that other people are not judging you, they are too busy judging themselves.
This is not necessarily a good thing, but if your critical voice makes you feel like other people are judging you or aspects of your personality, don’t worry about it! No one noticed.
3. Notice what situations cause the voice to say negative things about you.
Paying attention to your actions will help you figure out exactly what you did that you are judging yourself for. That way, you can address the insecurity, forgive yourself for it and avoid it in the future.
4. Give yourself freedom.
Try something new– an outfit that’s just a little bolder, talk to your friend crush, raise your hand in Spanish class. You’ll feel better after you do it, and people can be surprisingly supportive when they notice someone trying something new.
5. Stop making self-deprecating jokes.
Maybe you’re kidding, maybe you’re not, but the more you say negative things about yourself, the easier it is to believe them. Steer clear.
6. Ask for validation when you need it.
Instead of insulting yourself in the hopes of getting a compliment, tell your friends or family if you’re feeling insecure! It will foster better communication and you’ll avoid the self-deprecation step (see #5).
7. Be aware of the words you hear from your critical inner voice and either avoid or reclaim them.
If the voice calls you stupid, stop using that word in your everyday life! No one will notice your slight vocabulary change and it will make the word less accessible to your spur-of-the-moment thoughts.
8. Accept compliments.
Not only will conversations go more smoothly, but you’ll start to believe the nice things people say, which will make it easier to be nice to yourself.
9. These thoughts are really just impulses.
Try to anticipate them before they start and stop them in their tracks. It’s not easy to stop a thought before it comes, but it gets better with practice.
10. Stop pretending to be someone you aren’t.
Presenting a true version of yourself to the world will make you feel like less of a disappointment internally (which is good, because you aren’t one). And there’s no need to act like you’re doing great all the time– it’s okay to need support sometimes.
11. Remember that it’s okay to like yourself.
We sometimes degrade ourselves because self-love is frowned upon in society, but that attitude can stop with you! You are in control of your self-image, so remind yourself that you are the best thing to ever happen to you every day.