Choose life. Be resilient. Express gratitude. Eli Sharabi, an Israeli hostage, tells my congregation, “Be grateful. If you’re lucky enough to sit with your family tonight, you already have everything.” At the end of the day, he’s telling us that nothing matters more than your family. Not the stress of school, friends, deadlines; not the things we convince ourselves are urgent.
A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to listen to Eli Sharabi as he spoke about his experience as a hostage in the Israel-Hamas War. Sharabi was held captive in Gaza for 491 days before his release in February 2025. Unbeknownst to him, his wife and his two daughters were killed in the initial attack. Visiting my synagogue was one stop on his international book tour. Sitting among a thousand of my fellow Jewish congregants, I bore witness to the atrocities he experienced. Although overwhelmingly sad, I was surprised by the optimism and hope that I felt after hearing his story. I walked away with valuable lessons that I want to share with you.
1. Always choose life, regardless of your circumstances.
Eli Sharabi enforced that although he was not in control of his surroundings, he could control how he reacted. Even in the most dire circumstances, one can choose to overcome life’s challenges. I believe that this is a lesson that applies to anyone whether you’re facing depression, having conflicts with friends, or experiencing difficulty in school. Find what you can control. By shifting your mindset, you can change your situation.
2. Stay strong and persevere.
Resilience comes from within. Eli Sharabi and his fellow captives found ways to be resilient. They exercised every morning, building physical strength and maintaining their mental health. They celebrated Shabbat weekly. They created a system of sharing. These were the ways they created structure in their day and ultimately coped with their living situation. Small acts of courage helped them survive. We can also persevere through difficult times. Managing your time, seeking assistance, exercising, and having faith are ways to build your resilience and overcome obstacles.
3. Express gratitude daily.
Eli Sharabi held a nightly routine with the other hostages where they had to say one “good thing” that happened that day. For them, it was an extra piece of bread or the absence of a cruel guard. If Eli Sharabi and the other hostages could find positivity and express gratitude in the most horrific situation, I believe anyone can find something that they are grateful to have in their life. Gratitude has been shown to be an effective tool to improve mental health. It can help you feel grounded, shift your view, and positively impact your mood.
Sometimes the stress in your life feels like the biggest weight. Friends, work, family, school- they loom over you and can be overwhelming stressors. One strategy you can use to alleviate this pressure is to ask yourself the following questions. What can I control? What steps can I take to be resilient? What am I grateful for? It may be helpful to take these steps in order to alter your outlook and change your situation. That large stress may begin to feel smaller and more distant. Your problems can turn into opportunities for growth.
