Last summer, I packed everything that was on the packing lists, plus extras. You want 12 pairs of socks? Here are 15! Hiking boots optional? Come on kid, let’s go to REI! I was a zealot. I could not be found in my house without the Sharpie in hand.
Fat lot of good it all did me when one kid was homesick. Beyond homesick—he was utterly, incorrigibly miserable. For weeks.
To his credit, he’s giving overnight camp another try at his request: a different camp, and a shorter session. And as I pack him, I know now that the physical packing we’re doing is nowhere near as important as the mental and emotional packing.
He’s scared. And you know something? So am I. I’m scared of him being unhappy again, of getting calls every day from the camp about how unhappy he is. It was a semi-traumatic experience not only for him, but also for me.
So how should we emotionally pack for camp this time around?
1. Don’t avoid talking about homesickness: talk with your child about being away from home before your child leaves. Watch the camp DVD or go on the camp website together. When you talk about potential homesickness—whether your camper brings it up or you do—it’s important to be enthusiastic and optimistic.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY: “I’m so excited to hear all about what you do at camp! You’re going to get to try things that you never get to do at home.” Talking with your kid about activities at camp is a great thing. It’s also a chance to convey the message that the best way to get over homesickness is to be busy, whether it’s talking to other kids in the bunk or going out and trying waterskiing for the first time.
WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T SAY: “If things don’t work out, I’ll come and get you early.” This is a big no-no. You think you’re doing your kid a favor, but in fact, you’re implicitly sending the message, “I don’t think you can really handle things on your own.” Remember: you are not sending your kid alone to storm the beaches of Normandy under rapid machine gun fire. You are sending her for a camp experience: it’s designed to be a good time. It’s also designed to be a setting for her to learn how to cope with and handle her own problems. Don’t take that opportunity away from her.