Honesty As A
Form Of Idolatry
Honesty is a value
only insofar as it leads to growth, compassion and peace.
By Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson
The following article is reprinted with permission from University of Judaism.
Idolatry is the practice of treating something of relative
importance as though it were of ultimate significance. In our idolatrous age, we often act as
though money, careers, sex appeal, or prestige are of ultimate importance, when
in fact, they are only worthwhile to the degree that they can contribute to our
becoming better, more compassionate and more responsible people.
Parshat Vayera highlights another source of idolatry. It is altogether common to treat honesty as
the highest value possible. We justify
an unkind remark with the observation that it is true; we make a virtue of
telling it like it is, regardless of the effects of our self-centered
"integrity."
The conversation between Sarah and God reveals a more caring
form of honesty--one that recognizes higher values and transcendent
concerns. Honesty that flies in the
face of those values is not a virtue.
It is yet another manifestation of an unhealthy obsession with self--a
greater concern with our own clean fingernails than with another people's
feelings.
God reveals to Abraham and Sarah that they will bear a son
in a year's time. Sarah is 90 years
old; Abraham is 100. Both desperately
want a child, yet both are resigned to the reality that too much time has
already passed to realize that cherished hope. When told that she would indeed
bear a son, Sarah gives vent to her pent-up anger, disappointment and hope in a
laugh. "Am I to have enjoyment--with my husband so old?"
In reporting her words to Abraham, God decides to modify her
statement. God understands that Abraham
would be hurt by Sarah's assertion that Abraham is too old to father a
child. So God tells Abraham that Sarah
referred, instead, to her own age. "Shall I in truth bear a child, old as
I am?"
God is willing to ignore questions of integrity in order to
preserve Abraham's dignity and the peace between husband and wife.
Rashi (medieval French commentator) notes that
"Scripture altered her statement in the interests of peace." Mip'nei
darkhei shalom--for the sake of peace, we are instructed by Jewish wisdom
to modify our statements. Honesty,
while precious, is not an ultimate value. Important as it is to tell the truth,
honesty retains its preeminence because it helps human beings live together in
peace. On occasion, however, scrupulous
honesty can damage a relationship and in that instance, it is more important to
protect a person's feelings, self-worth and love.
The Mishnah, an early rabbinic compilation of legal
material, tells us that on her wedding day, a bride is to be told that she is
beautiful, regardless of how she really looks.
Why? Mip'nei darkhei shalom, for
the sake of peace.
If serving the Lord does not lead to caring for the dignity
of other human beings, does not lead to a willingness to ignore one's own
integrity to protect another's feelings, then there is something lacking in our
notion of what God wants.
According to the Torah, and according to rabbinic tradition,
God cares about human caring. Honesty in the service of compassion and growth
is a mitzvah, commandment, even if the truth is painful. Honesty at the expense of another human's
feelings, simply to air one's own viewpoint, is a betrayal of God.
Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson is the Dean of the Ziegler
School of Rabbinic Studies at the University of Judaism in Los Angeles. He is the author of The Bedside Torah:
Wisdom, Dreams, & Visions (McGraw Hill).
For a free subscription to his weekly email Torah commentary, please
send an email request to bartson@uj.edu.
