Leave my bar mitzvah alone!

Last week I was following the dialogue and reflections of two of my Rabbis Without Borders colleagues on the topic of the ‘Christian bar mitzvah’. Jason Miller first shared the story of the episode of ‘The Sisterhood’, a reality show on TLC, that featured the decision of two Christian pastors to give their son a Christian bar mitzvah.  The father was born Jewish, but converted to Christianity prior to his marriage.  Rebecca Einstein Schorr subsequently wrote about her reactions to the segment and had the opportunity to discuss the issue with the couple on Huff Post Live.

Pastor Brian with his son, on TLC’s ‘The Sisterhood’

Last night, I had the opportunity to share part of the Huff Post Live interview with my 10th grade students in Chai School.  As students, aged 15-16, who had their own bar or bat mitzvah just two years ago, I was interested to hear their take on the debate.  They were not at all receptive to the idea of a Christian bar mitzvah.  They raised many of the same issues that my colleague, Rebecca, had raised during her interview.  In particular, they completely understood and supported the idea of creating a coming-of-age ceremony within the context of another religious tradition, and the thought that this might be inspired by Jewish practice.  But using the term, ‘bar mitzvah’ indicated to society a specific Jewish ceremony in a Jewish context, so they did not approve of using the same label.

My students were also comfortable with the idea that a father who was Jewish might wish to share his heritage with his son by educating and exposing him to that Jewish heritage and educating him in order to have a Jewish bar mitzvah.  They were less concerned and interested in some of the ‘who is a Jew’ debates that Jewish organizations and leaders sometimes engage in.  If someone wanted to claim their Jewish heritage, they were cool with that.  What they were not cool with was the co-opting of that heritage and blending it with a different religious belief system, namely Christianity.  They listened to the pastor’s explanation of how they understood Jewish heritage to be an integral part of their Christian identity and practice, but they did not agree with it.