The Sheva Berakhot
Abundant blessings for the bride and groom.
By Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
Despite the wealth of traditions and rituals connected to
Jewish weddings, the wedding ceremony itself, without embellishments, is
relatively sparse. The opening section, called kiddushin (betrothal), is
where all of the legal business takes place, including the formal betrothal
blessing and the ring ceremony. Often couples include a reading of their ketubah
(marriage contract) as a bridge between this first part of the ceremony and the
next part, called nissuin (nuptials). Nissuin includes the chanting of
the sheva berakhot (seven blessings), the breaking of a glass, and yihud,
in which the bride and groom depart from under the huppah (marriage
canopy) to take some time alone before joining guests for wedding festivities.
The Blessings
The sheva berakhot are the real heart of the Jewish wedding
ceremony; it is in this liturgical moment of the ceremony that themes of joy
and celebration and the ongoing power of love are expressed. Taken from the
pages of the Talmud (Ketubot 8a), the blessings, from one to seven, begin with
the kiddush over wine and increase in intensity in their imagery and
metaphors. It is no accident that there are seven of these blessings, since the
number seven brings to mind the seven days of creation. Poetic echoes of
creation and paradise abound in the blessings, as does the age-old yearning for
return to Jerusalem. Significantly, the final blessing culminates with imagery
of the entire community singing and celebrating with the bride and groom,
reminding all present that the couple standing under the huppah is a link in
the chain of Jewish continuity.
The blessings are:
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, King of the Universe,
Creator of the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who
has created everything for your glory.
Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Creator
of Human Beings.
Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who has
fashioned human beings in your image, according to your likeness and has
fashioned from it a lasting mold. Blessed are You Adonai, Creator of Human
Beings.
Bring intense joy and exultation to the barren one (Jerusalem)
through the ingathering of her children amidst her in gladness. Blessed are
You, Adonai, Who gladdens Zion through her children.
Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your
creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens groom
and bride.
Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who
created joy and gladness, groom and bride, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight,
love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be
heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and
the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the
sound of the grooms' jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their
song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the groom to rejoice with his
bride.
Under the Chuppah
During the ceremony, the blessings are traditionally chanted
in Hebrew and may also be read in English. In the Sephardic tradition, a parent
will often wrap the bride and groom in a tallit (prayer shawl) before
the recitation of the blessings begins, to recognize the intimacy and significance
of the moment. Many contemporary couples use the theme of "blessing"
to creatively interpret the reading of the sheva berakhot: they may invite
seven friends or family members to each recite one of the blessings or have the
traditional blessings sung in Hebrew while friends or family members offer
seven non-traditional blessings in English. There are many English
interpretations of the sheva berakhot available (see The Creative Jewish
Wedding Book for examples), some of which use neutral or feminine God
language instead of the traditional male imagery. Often couples will include
the sheva berakhot in Hebrew and/or English in their wedding programs so that
guests can fully participate in this important moment in the ceremony.
Traditionally, everyone present joins with the leader in singing parts of the
final blessing.
At the Wedding Celebration
It is customary for the sheva berakhot to be recited again
during the wedding celebration over a glass of wine, following the birkat hamazon
(grace after meals). This second sharing of the blessings gives couples an
additional opportunity to honor their loved ones by inviting them to offer one
of the blessings. Another beautiful custom for this sharing of the sheva
berakhot is for the wine to be divided into two different cups--representing
bride and groom--that are then poured together into a third cup. The wine that
has been mixed together is poured back into cups for the bride and groom, and
also poured into the third cup, shared by the community. This ritual shows how
the couple is now connected, and how their life together is intertwined with
community.
The Week After the Wedding
While today most newly married couples are eager to sneak
away for honeymoon time alone (and often to de-stress from their wedding planning
marathons), Jewish tradition held that the bride and groom needed time with the
community to help start their marriage out on the right foot. For the seven
days following the wedding, the bride and groom were treated like a queen and
king, and were invited to dine at the home of a different friend or relative on
each night. These festive meals were called "sheva berakhot."
Following dinner, the seven blessings would be recited again--as long as a minyan
of ten men were present and there was at least one new person (who hadn’t been
at the wedding) present. The idea of the dinners was to have real community
celebrations for the couple, and parties often went into the night. During
generations when marriages were arranged and couples may have met just before
marriage the sheva berakhot meals served as a way for the couple to get to know
each other, while being supported by the community.
Today the sheva berakhot festive meals are still an
important custom, though observed more regularly in traditional circles. Some
couples postpone their honeymoon trips so that they can celebrate with their
community first and then celebrate their marriage together later. Other Jewish
couples are choosing to engage in the custom for some of their first week of
marriage or will even celebrate a week of sheva berakhot when they return from
their honeymoons.
Some Debate
Traditionally, only Jewish men are counted in a minyan and
only Jewish men can recite the sheva berakhot, both under the huppah and during
the festive meals following the wedding. In liberal Jewish communities, both
men and women are welcomed and encouraged to recite the sheva berakhot. Some
Orthodox feminists have challenged the halakha (Jewish law) surrounding
this debate, but have largely not made ground in changing this tradition. Other
Orthodox and some Conservative women, though, in a desire not to challenge the
halakha but to still include women friends and family members in their wedding
honors have created a new tradition: the sheva shevahot, or seven praises.
These seven praises are recited before, rather than after, the wedding meal,
and emphasize the psalms and poems which celebrate the accomplishments of
Biblical women. The seventh praise is often the shehecheyanu blessing.
Rabbi Dov Linzer, a modern Orthodox rabbi, has written
largely about another halakhic compromise: calling both men and women up to
huppah in pairs for a sheva brakhot honor, with the man reciting the blessing
in Hebrew and the woman reading an English translation. Rabbi Linzer also notes
that in terms of halakha, the reciting of the sheva brakhot after the meal at
the wedding celebration is the obligation of the community, rather than the
groom himself, and so since women are part of the community, they may
participate in sharing those honors in Hebrew.
The Tradition Continues…
As with so many Jewish rituals, the expression of the sheva
berakhot has evolved over time, but their place and importance as the central
celebratory liturgy in a Jewish wedding ceremony holds fast.
Freelance writer Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer is author of The
Creative Jewish Wedding Book (Jewish Lights).
