Nissuin: The Second of the Two Ceremonies
The substance of
nissuin, the actual marriage ceremony, are seven blessings that reflect the
themes of creation, joy, and bride and groom.
By Daniel H. Gordis
The contemporary
Jewish wedding ceremony comprises two ancient ceremonies that used to be
separated by about a year--erusin, or
betrothal, and nissuin, the actual
marriage. Excerpted with permission from Celebration and Renewal: Rites of
Passage in Judaism edited by Rela Mintz
Geffen (Jewish Publication Society).
Immediately following the reading of the ketubah [the marriage contract], the
second ceremony begins. This ceremony involves the recitation of seven
blessings and hence is commonly referred to as the Sheva Berakhot. The text of the liturgy is as follows:
The Seven Blessings
1. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe,
Creator of the fruit of the vine.
2. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe,
Who created all things for Your glory.
3. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe,
Creator of man.
4. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe,
Who created man and woman in Your image, fashioning woman from man as his mate,
that together they might perpetuate life. Praised are You, O Lord, Creator of
man.
5. May Zion rejoice as her children are restored to her in
joy. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes Zion to rejoice at her children's
return.
6. Grant perfect joy to these loving companions, as You did
to the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Praised are You, O Lord, who
grants the joy of bride and groom.
7. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe,
who created joy and gladness, bride and groom, mirth, song, delight and
rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship. O Lord our God, may there
ever be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem voices of
joy and gladness, voices of bride and groom, the jubilant voices of those
joined in marriage under the bridal canopy, the voices of young people feasting
and singing. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes the groom to rejoice with his
bride.
After the Blessings Are Recited
During the recitation of these blessings, as was the case in
the first ceremony, the rabbi holds a cup of wine aloft. And once again, upon
completion of the blessings, groom and bride drink from the cup.
The most striking characteristic of the blessings is that,
with the exception of the last one, they focus not on love, but on the theme of
creation. In addition to referring to God as "Creator of the fruit of the
vine" in the omnipresent blessing over wine, the liturgy refers to God as
creator of all things, creator of man, creator of man and woman, and creator of
the peace of the Garden of Eden. The theme of creation plays several
significant roles in the ceremony. First, it relates to the Jewish conception
of marriage as a natural state and suggests that, by marrying, the couple now
enters this appropriate condition. Second, it suggests that the marriage
furthers God's process of creation, furthering a project the tradition sees as
yet unfulfilled.
Rashi, the classic medieval commentator on the Talmud,
offers an alternate explanation for the blessings. He suggests that the second
benediction is in honor not of the couple, but of all those assembled at the
ceremony. The third is in honor of the creation of Adam. The next three refer
specifically to the couple being married. And the last is in honor of all Jews
everywhere, including, of course, the couple themselves.
One element of the blessings that cannot be denied is that
they refer to grooms and brides, men and women, beyond time. Obviously, one
element of this "era beyond time" is the Garden of Eden, cited
specifically in the liturgy. But in mentioning creation, the liturgy subtly
suggests the tradition's commitment to the notion of purposeful creation, and alludes to the future era when God's
purpose for humankind will be realized. Jacob Neusner has suggested that the
couple represents not only Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but also young
men and women in a rebuilt Jerusalem, redeemed in the messianic era. In both
representations, the couple exists beyond time and history, in a direct
relationship with God and the people Israel.
Repeating the Blessings at the Meal
The seven blessings are repeated once after the ceremony, at
the festive meal that follows. There, the grace after meals is recited using
one cup of wine, and the Sheva Berakhot using another. Upon completion of the
blessings for the second time, the two cups of wine are mixed into a third, and
husband and wife now drink from the third cup.
The blessings are then recited every day for the next seven
days, as long as at least one person is present at each meal who was not
present before. On the Sabbath, the Sabbath Bride "herself " is
considered the new "person."
Addressing the Couple
If the rabbi speaks at the ceremony, he or she usually does
so after the seven blessings [although some rabbis speak after the reading of
the ketubah, before the Sheva Berakhot are recited]. But it is not unusual for
more than one person to address the couple under the huppah, at any of several
points during the ceremony. Some rabbis also elect to offer a separate blessing
for the couple, often the tripartite "Priestly Blessing" (Numbers
6:24-26). Such matters are not regulated by tradition.
Breaking the Glass
The next, and final, ritual element of the ceremony is the
shattering of a glass. Traditionally, it is the groom who shatters the glass
with his foot, though in some more modern communities groom and bride both do
so. Most traditional commentators explain this custom as having originated with
incidents recorded in the Talmud in which Mar, the son of Ravina, and Rav Ashi
deliberately smashed costly glass at their sons' weddings to put a stop to the
raucous dancing and celebrating.
Modern explanations have focused on a more solemn theme,
claiming that the broken glass reminds Jews assembled at a joyous occasion of
the Temples and recalling those individuals, Jew and non-Jew alike, who do not
have the freedom to celebrate either religiously or publicly. A more mystical
explanation of the ceremony is that the glass represents the couple and that
just as the glass, when it is broken, enters a state from which it will never
emerge, it is the hope of the community that this couple will never emerge from
their married state. Finally, one modern source suggests:
"Beneath its articulated Jewish historical meaning
(remembrance of the destruction of the Temple), this act has symbolic
sexual-anthropological meaning. It is an obvious representation of the sexual
consummation of the marriage by the breaking of the hymen. It also is an act of
noisemaking employed to chase away demons that might attack the couple as they
pass through that liminal period between unmarried and married status."
This evaluation of the tradition of breaking the glass is
extraordinarily novel. Whether these anthropological factors actually played a
role in the origins of the ceremony is difficult to say.
Dr. Daniel H. Gordis
is Director of the Jerusalem Fellows program and a member of the Senior Staff
of the Mandel Foundation Sector on Jewish Education and Continuity, based in
Jerusalem. His most recent book, on the demise of peace in Israel, is entitled
If a Place Can Make You Cry: Dispatches from an Anxious State; other books include God Was Not in the
Fire: The Search for a Spiritual Judaism,Does the World Need the Jews?: Rethinking Chosenness and American Jewish
Identity, and Becoming a Jewish
Parent: How to Explore Spirituality and Tradition with Your Children.
