When Death Occurs

At death, several gestures indicate respect for the deceased as well as acceptance of the reality of death.

By Anita Diamant and Howard Cooper

Jewish customs at the moment of death and after grow out of the principle of k'vod ha-met, honoring the dead. One example is the custom of not eating or drinking in a room with a corpse in order not to "embarrass" the dead person, who can no longer perform these functions. Other customs probably grow out of folk superstitions, such as covering mirrors so that the soul cannot see other family members and take them with him. Reprinted with permission from Living a Jewish Life (HarperCollins Publishers Inc.).

From the moment of death until a body is buried, Jewish law and custom are entirely focused on honoring the deceased. Gestures of respect include closing the eyes and mouth, lighting a candle, which is a symbol of the soul, and opening a window for the soul's release. Psalms and personal prayers are recited.

The traditional prayer said on witnessing or hearing of a death is a statement of total acceptance:

Barukh Ata Adonai Eloheynu Melekh Ha-olam Da-yan Ha-emet.

Holy One of Blessing, Your Presence fills creation. You are the True Judge.

Jewish tradition stresses that the body should not be left alone from the time of death until burial, which takes place as quickly as possible.

The custom is to have someone read psalms beside the body, a duty that can be performed by family members, friends, or by synagogue members. On request, Jewish funeral homes will provide a ritual guardian, or shomer, for this purpose.

If a death occurs in a hospital, family members inform the staff of their wishes regarding respectful treatment for the body. Autopsies are generally not permitted by Jewish law, mostly because they are seen as a desecration of the body and thus an abrogation of respect. However, because the rabbinic principle that saving a life takes precedence over most other laws, by extension, autopsies, organ donation, and donation of the body for medical research may be authorized. These issues are usually discussed on a case-by-case basis with a rabbi.

Anita Diamant's books include Choosing a Jewish Life, The New Jewish Wedding, Saying Kaddish, and The Red Tent, a novel. She lives in Newton, Massachusetts. Howard Cooper is an educator, storyteller and itinerant baal tefilah, or prayer leader, who currently resides in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.