His Bar Mitzvah; My Religious Crisis
How do you send your child to Hebrew school when you hated it?
"Right," I said. "And besides that, well, I can't really remember any more."
"But there are more Jewish holidays, right, daddy?"
"There probably are," I said.
But I'm obviously not the one to tell him. Part of being a good dad is recognizing your limits as an educator, particularly a religious one, and my limits are very clear. Sure, I can lead a seder, but I'm not exactly a fount of talmudic knowledge. The coming bar mitzvah crisis looms, and all I know are the lyrics to "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah," a song on 30 Rock a couple of years ago. "Boys becoming men," the lyrics went, "men becoming wolves."
We'd better find a good Hebrew school, and fast.
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