Overview: Yom
Kippur at Home
Although Yom Kippur is the synagogue holiday par excellence,
with five separate services spanning much of its 25 hours, customs at home help
set the tone for the day. These preparations range from the symbolic and
spiritual to pragmatic concerns, such as eating well before beginning a fast.
The formal liturgical confession of sins, or vidui, begins on Erev Yom Kippur,
the day preceding the holiday, usually at the minchah, or afternoon service, but it can also be done at home.
This admission of sins, which begins Yom Kippur's process of repentance, is the
first step in the struggle to achieve inner purity. This quest for purity is
embodied both in the traditional trip to the mikvah, or ritual bath, on Erev Yom Kippur and in the wearing of
white clothing during Yom Kippur itself.
Erev Yom Kippur is also the time for the symbolic enactments
of personal atonement known as kapparot,
or atonements. These ceremonies also create an opportunity to give tzedakah, or charity, one means offered
by the tradition to “avert the severe decree” and be written in the book of
life. In the oldest traditional form of kapparot,
a person twirls a live chicken over his or her head three times as an
atonement for sin, while reciting an ancient formula (which can be found in a
traditional machzor, or High Holiday
prayerbook). The chicken is then slaughtered and given to the poor as tzedakah. Although today many perform
the kapparot ceremony with coins in a
handkerchief that are then donated to tzedakah--while
many others have eliminated this traditional altogether--a live chicken
embodies the vulnerability of human beings who will be judged by God on Yom
Kippur.
This sense of vulnerability is heightened by an awareness of
life’s transience. There are two Yom Kippur customs that serve to remind us of
the inevitability of death. The first is to light a memorial candle for parents
who have died. The second is to wear a kittel,
a white garment that can symbolize both purity and death, during the Yom Kippur
services.
The spiritual work of repentance also demands a turning away
from bodily pleasures, hence the following activities are prohibited by
traditional Jewish law on Yom Kippur: eating and drinking, washing, anointing
with perfumes or lotions, sexual intercourse, and wearing leather shoes. The
reason for not wearing leather is that it represents material and financial
comfort, which is contrary to the humility of spirit required for repentance.
Before Yom Kippur begins, every Jew is urged to undertake
one other action that is not merely preparatory to repentance, but integral to
the process: requesting forgiveness from human beings against whom one has
committed transgressions. This is necessary in order to wipe the slate of
interpersonal relationships clean before the start of the holiday, since only
sins human beings and God are addressed during Yom Kippur itself.
A good place to request forgiveness from family members is
at the seudah hamafseket, the
concluding meal before the Yom Kippur fast. The meal should be substantial,
following the talmudic dictum that it is a mitzvah
to eat on Erev Yom Kippur, just as it is a mitzvah
to fast on Yom Kippur itself. The meal begins with the traditional hamotzi
blessing over a challah (ritual bread); because Yom Kippur has not actually
started yet when the meal is eaten, there is no Kiddush--sanctification over
wine--recited.
After the meal, candles are lit to usher in Yom Kippur. Then
the Shehecheyanu-blessing, thanking
God for enabling us to reach this season, is recited and the fast begins. Many
parents bless their children with the priestly blessing before leaving for the
Kol Nidre service with which the holiday begins, and people wish each other
"an easy fast."
To symbolically connect Yom Kippur to the holiday of Sukkot
that begins five days later, it is traditional after the havdalah service at the end of Yom Kippur to go immediately and
pound the first nail into the sukkah,
the temporary shelter that serves as the central symbol of the latter holiday.
