A Parenting Perspective
Discussing the
Holocaust with Children
A topic that may
seem far from modern children's lives holds valuable social lessons.
By Ann Moline
This article gives advice on how to create a context for
introducing this difficult topic to children. Reprinted with permission from Jewish
Family and Life: Traditions, Holidays, and Values for Today's Parents and
Children, published by Golden Books.
When Charlene Schiff turned 11, she had survived three years
on her own, living in a forest in the Ukraine. By night she foraged in nearby
barns for food; by day she hid in shallow holes she dug, covering herself with
leaves. At 11, Charlene was a veteran of the forests, maintaining a routine
that ultimately saved her life. For those three years she lived by her wits,
eating anything that came to hand, worrying about what happened to her family,
constantly moving from one hiding place to the next in a frantic race to evade
the German armies who patrolled the countryside. She forgot the sound of her
own voice, for she never spoke, not even to herself.
When Jewish-American children turn 11, they stand on the
threshold of independence, looking ahead with excitement to the wonders of
middle school and the bar and bat mitzvah. They forage in the refrigerator for
snacks, and hide from their siblings in their rooms. At 11, our children are
veterans of Hebrew school and soccer fields, maintaining a routine of
activities, which will ultimately be listed on college applications. They worry
over changes in their bodies. They constantly move from one best friend to the
next. They are in a frantic race to keep up with their own busy lives.
Our children's lives are far removed from the terrors of the
Holocaust. Many of them have no firsthand knowledge of survivors. Indeed, many
have never been touched directly by anti-Semitism. As Americans, our national
passion is to prolong our children's childhoods; as Jews, our natural instinct
is to protect our children from the existence and history of anti-Semitism.
How, then, do we address with them an event of such enormity as the Holocaust,
and when do we start?
While no one set of definitive answers exists, there is a
general consensus among Holocaust educators. "Teaching about the Holocaust
before the age of eight is counterproductive. Children will only come away with
nightmares," says Shari Werb, an educator with the U.S. Holocaust Memorial
Museum in Washington, D.C. "Even eight
is very young, unless the family has firsthand experience
and there is a reason to talk about it."
Ms. Werb says that most of the Holocaust material for
schools is designed to begin at sixth or seventh grade, when children are 11 or
12 years old. Tying in discussions at home with school lessons--either Hebrew
school or public school--is a very effective approach. Presenting the material
gradually, with a generalized overview,
and then adding more details as the children get older will
help them develop a context through which to filter the information. An initial
discussion might begin with an example from the child's own life in which the
child or a friend was treated unfairly because of skin color, religion, or
mental or physical disability. After relating the idea of prejudice to the
child's own world, the talk can center on the importance of speaking out
against injustice.
"A child can relate to 'Let's talk about why the kids
in the class shouldn't make fun of Bobby because he talks differently.' A child
can also understand 'It might be hard to stand up to your friends and ask them
to stop making fun of him, but here is why that is important.'" Ms. Werb
says that from this type of conversation, a first, non-graphic description of
the Holocaust can help demonstrate why we should not stand silent when
confronted with unfairness.
Ann Moline is a freelance writer and journalist living in
Alexandria, Virginia. She and her husband, Jack, are the parents of three
children.
