Talmud of the Simpsons

If the sitcom had been written by Babylonian rabbinical sages...

By Noah Gradofsky

Reprinted with permission from the author's website.

 

The following is a Talmud based on the Simpsons episode, "Like Father Like Clown." In this episode, we find out that Krusty the clown is Jewish and has been estranged from his father because he became a clown (which for whatever reason wasn't seen as an honorable profession).

 

Of course, it's Bart and Lisa to the rescue. They work to convince Krusty's father, Rabbi Krustofski, that the Rabbi should forgive his son. The conversation between Bart and Rabbi Krustofski takes on a talmudic dialectic. Bart quotes many pieces of Talmud (most of them fairly accurately, but one I have yet to find), while Rabbi Krustofski replies as to why he is unconvinced by Bart's attitude.

 

It occurred to me that this conversation would do well if converted into a talmudic account.

About the Text

Below, in graphic form is the page of Talmud that I have created, along with an English translation. As is usual, the larger sized type that appears in the center (and then takes over the left side as well) is the Talmud. The right side is Rashi (a late 11th century commentator from France). On the left is Tosafot, the commentary created by the Franco-German Tosafist school (shortly after Rashi). Between the Talmud text and Rashi is all references to the Bible (including one that I have added which is not related to any text quoted in the Simpsons episode).

 

On the far right are references to other places in Talmud where similar texts are quoted. The first two of such references are quotes of Talmud made in the Simpsons episodes and that I have been able to find, or massages of text where the Simpsons episode took some license (see footnote 5 to Talmud text). The final reference in that column is a reference to a piece of Talmud that I have decided to add on my own.

 

I have done my best to be consistent with proper talmudic language (Aramaic or Hebrew where appropriate). I'm sure I have failed miserably. In most cases I at least used legitimate words. One place where I'm sure I did not is in the term I use for an entertainer. I created the word "b-d-r-n-a" by simply adding an alef to a modern Hebrew word. I did that because I couldn't come up with the right Aramaic term.

The "Original" Text

If you'd like to see the text in Aramaic and Hebrew, the languages of the Talmud, it will pop up as a separate window. It is a large file, so it may take a few moment to open. Click here to view the Talmud page.

 

You can also download this entire feature--Aramaic, translation, and commentaries--in PDF format by clicking here. (For some readers, the Aramaic may be clearer in the PDF format, and the latter format also allows those interested in "studying" this Talmud page to do so with the "original" and English together on one page.)

 

The Translation

Here is a translation of the Talmud I wrote. It's not a perfectly tight translation, but it should do:

 

Herschel, the son of Rabbi Krustofski, was a clown. He (Rabbi Krustofski) threw him (the son) out. When Bartus came from the state in which Springfield is, [Bartus] said to him (Rabbi Krustofski): "Hasn't it been taught, 'with regards to a child's inclinations the left hand should push away and the right hand should bring close?'" (1 ).

 

He responded: "Yes." He said to him: "Isn't a person obligated to forgive his son?" He responded: "The verse states however, 'honor your father and mother.'" (2)

 

What did Bartus do at that moment? He said to Lisa his sister: "There is no hope," and Lisa said, "No (there is hope) because I have some dynamite stuff from Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar."

 

Bartus said to Rabbi Krustofski in the sauna: "A person should always be supple as a reed and not stiff as a cedar." (3) He responded: "Joshua states: 'You shall meditate on the torah all day and all night.'" (4) At a circumcision he said to him: "Who will bring the redemption? The jesters." (5) He said to him: "From this you bring a proof?"

 

Bartus' sister became distraught. She sent to him that which Rabbi Sammy Davis Junior said. Bartus said to him (Rabbi Krustofski): "Didn't a great man say, 'Israel is a strange people. I [mean] to say that I have heard of persecution, but this is shocking. But at the end of 2,000 years that they waited and held on and struggled, they made it. End of quote.'" He responded: "Who taught thus, Rabbi Hillel?" He responded: No. "Judah the Pious?" "No." "Maimonides?" "No." "The Dead Sea Scrolls?" "No, rather it was Rabbi Sammy Davis Junior, an entertainer like your son."

 

He (Rabbi Krustofski) said to him (Bartus): "The Candy Man? Perhaps I've been mistaken." Immediately he forgave his son.

 

[Let us now return to] the statement itself: What does it mean "Bartus said to him?" Rather [it should read] "Lisa said." For Lisa was a Talmud scholar, and she brought up the statements in the first place. Rather, since she said them to Bartus and he said them to Rabbi Krustofski. Since Bartus said them to Rabbi Krustofski, [the story] said "Bart said to him." This is obvious!

 

And when it asked the question, why did it ask the question? Since Lisa was a Talmud scholar, and he who says something in the name of the person who said it (originally) brings redemption to the world, as Rabbi Elazar said in the name of Rabbi Chanina (6): "He who says something in the name of the person who said it (originally) brings redemption to the world, as it written: 'And Esther said to the king in the name of Mordechai'" (7).

Sources

1. Sotah 47a, Sanhedrin 107b. However, note that the text isn't exactly as it appears here. See the commentary of Tosafot. In reality, the rule appears twice in both Sotah and Sanhedrin. First there is a statement, "Always have the left hand push away and the right hand draw near." Then, a little while down we have, "Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar taught: 'with regards to the inclination of a child or a woman, always have the left hand push away and the right hand draw near.'" I decided that Bart must have been quoting (however imperfectly), the second of these texts. The reasons I did so are (a) it directly talks about children, as does Bart's quote, and (b)Lisa makes a reference to Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar. Unfortunately, Bart's quote doesn't include "women," and Lisa's reference to Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar comes after the quote is used. But these difficulties just gave me a reason to write commentaries for Tosafot.

2. Exodus 20:11

3. Ta'anit 20b

4. Joshua 1:8

5. This appears to be taken from Ta'anit 22a, where a certain two entertainers are identified as being worthy of the world to come.

6. Megillah 15a

7. Esther 2:22

Translation of Rashi

The bold words indicate the piece of text upon which Rashi is commenting. The reader may have to refer back to the Talmud text in order to get more context.

 

He threw him out: Because there isn't honor in being a clown. As it is said, "The clown has become the king, and the prophet has become the clown."

That Springfield is in: And there is no state that does not have a Springfield.

Thus we read (Note to reader: This introduces an emendation of the Talmud text): With regards to the inclination of a child or a woman.

But the verse has stated: To say, that since a son who is a clown does no honor to his father, the father is not obligated to forgive him.

And you shall meditate on it etc: And a clown doesn't study Torah.

At circumcision: Rabbi Krustofski was a mohel. But know, that it is not proper to talk to a mohel during the circumcision.

He said to him: "Who taught thus": Because it is a great statement.

Maimonides: I don't know who he is.

The Dead Sea Scrolls: I don't know what this is.

The Candy Man: (transliteration).

Perhaps I've been mistaken: For if an entertainer could say a thing like this, perhaps there is Torah with the clowns as well.

What does it mean "Bartus said to him?" Rather [it should read] "Lisa said.": To say, that it needed be "Bartus said in the name of Lisa."

"Said it in the first place: Because she knew the statements of the Tanaim.

It is simple: For it doesn't need to say "Bart said in the name of Lisa" for we know that Bartus doesn't speak words of Torah by himself because he was not a Talmud scholar at all.

Translation of Tosafot

This translation also engages in some commentary. If, even after reading my commentary, you still don't exactly understand what Tosafot is saying, then I have done my job.

 

The inclination of a child: This refers to an obligation (of forgiveness). And in Sotah (47a) and Sanhedrin (106b) there is, "The inclination of a child and a woman the left hand should push way and the right hand should draw near." And Rashi read thus (in our text as well) and said that all of this is the language of obligation. And in all our texts (of this text) there is not the word "woman." Rabbi Yitschak explained that it must be that forgiving a child is an obligation and forgiving a wife is optional. And on this our men rely when they don't forgive their wives.

That Rabbi Shimon the son of Elazar said: But Bartus doesn't quote Rabbi Shimon later. and the statement that was brought originally that "with regard to the inclination of the child etc." is a statement of Rabbi Shimon the son of Rabbi Elazar. And there is room to say that Lisa thought she would find more statements of Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar similar to that which she already found. And Rabbenu Tam explained that that which Bartus says later, "A person should always be supple as a reed and not hard as a Cedar," is brought in Ta'anit (20b) in the name of Rabbi Elazar the son of Rabbi Shimon. And one can say that Rabbi Shimon also said this statement in the name of his son, and (therefore) the Talmud treats him (Rabbi Shimon) as if he were his (Rabbi Elazar's) Son.

 

Noah Gradofsky is the rabbi of Temple Israel of Long Beach. He can be emailed at noah@e-ark.net.

 

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