I usually write posts about topics like challenges facing our community, and my work in engagement and social justice. But recently, I traveled to Houston, Texas, where I got to visit my friend and colleague, Charlett, who’s good at getting folks into the holiday spirit – especially for a very nontraditional fusion of holidays!
Charlett is a creative Southern Jewish thinker. When she heard the idea of a “menurkey,” she immediately thought of the Thanksgiving turkey that already makes appearance in her home each year around Thanksgiving. Usually, this turkey holds lollipops. This year, instead of holding lollipops, Charlett’s turkey is a menurkey, complete with candles!
The Countdown to Thanksgivukkah is on, and we’re looking forward to sharing some particularly Southern and Jewish twists on this holiday…!
Do you have any special Thanksgivukkah crafts, recipes, or plans? Tell us in the comments below!!
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Since a peer-led health initiative is one of the programs I help coordinate, I thought I would model peer-led-health-education, and share some of this information with you.
According to Sharsheret, a national not-for-profit organization supporting young women and their families of all Jewish backgrounds, facing breast cancer, 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jews has a gene mutation putting them at increased risk for breast cancer, ovarian cancer and related cancers.
Breast cancer and ovarian cancer are two diseases that many of us can put a face and a name to in our own families and communities. Congregations can play a critical role raising awareness about breast cancer and supporting women and their families who have been diagnosed with breast, ovarian and related cancers. Sharsheret has put together some incredible resources to make it easier for congregations to inform congregants about breast cancer, and early detection, and raising awareness in their community.
One program that Sharsheret can help bring to your community is Sharsheret Pink Shabbat.
Will you be participating in a Pink Shabbat this month? Tell us in the comments below, and please share ideas you have to bring breast cancer awareness to your community!
A week ago, a woman named Deb took her life in New Jersey. I learned about her death in an email sent to me here in Jackson, Mississippi.
Over the past few days, I have been speaking with many people who share Deb’s background. Like Deb, I too am part of a tight community of people who have left ultra-orthodoxy–this news impacts us quite personally, but should impact all Jews.
That’s why I decided to write this post. At first, I wondered how I could directly connect its content with southern Jewish life. Then I realized that this story connects to all of us, and if all Jews are responsible for one another, well, then even if the only Southern connection here is me, I still thought it was important to raise awareness about the deep pain that one community of Jews is currently feeling.
I believe in the teaching from Jewish tradition that we cannot sit idly by when injustice is taking place. Particularly when lives are literally at risk, and being lost. A while back, I wrote a post regarding Jay Michaelson’s article about fundamentalism in the Jewish community. Fundamentalism in the Jewish community is real, and dangerous, and Deb’s story is an example of why.
The ultra-Orthodox Skverer community, with the help of expert witnesses and judges, not only failed to help Deb through what is ultimately a very difficult transition; but actually made Deb’s life even harder when she chose to leave their ranks. What is one to do, upon hearing about this tragedy? Learn! Do not sit idly by. Do not let communities that, under the guise of Judaism, cause tremendous pain to people who choose to live differently. As you learn, you will find out that there are too many people who, like Deb, are beaten down by their ultra-orthodox communities of origin. The Jewish community as a whole could do better to support individuals who are alienated by their Jewish communities.
Shulem Deen’s website Unpious provides a platform where he and others share his struggle as a parent leaving ultra-orthodoxy. I encourage you to read a recent article, published by Tablet, in which he shared his reflections on Deb’s death. There is one paragraph that is particularly hard to swallow: “In my case, I didn’t lose in court. I lost my children’s hearts and with them, very nearly, my sanity. I had been many things in adulthood—a husband, an entrepreneur, a computer programmer, a blogger—but for 14 years, fatherhood defined me most. When my children withdrew their affections, I no longer knew who I was.”
If the community that you had once is now against you, and the larger community is not actively taking your side, hope is hard to find. My hope is that a larger segment of the population, including the readership of this blog, will realize that reaching out and supporting those who leave fundamentalism is important and benefits not only the individuals to whom we lend our support, but also benefits us all. If welcomed into the larger society, those who leave their community of origin bring many gifts and talents to the world.
Lani Santo is the Executive Director of Footsteps, an organization that assists people who, like Deb, choose to leave their community of origin, and live a life that is consistent with their personal needs and beliefs. In an email to friends of the organization, in which she responded to this tragedy, she wrote, “It is our sincere intention to work for lasting change so that any individual who wishes to leave ultra-Orthodoxy and build a self-determined life can do so. It’s the one true way we can honor those who felt they could not live with the consequences of their brave decision.”
I echo Lani’s sentiment. My thoughts are with Deb’s loved ones, and with each person who has experienced struggles like hers. May all of our hearts be moved to action.