My X-Files Bat Mitzvah

You may have noticed we’ve had a few B’nai Mitzvah-related posts lately.  We are at the start of celebrating our 13th year and in that spirit we’re launching an occasional series of B’nai Mitzvah reflections.

Explaining the idea behind a bar/bat mitzvah isn’t terribly difficult. When talking to someone about this Jewish life cycle moment, most people can relate to a coming of age ceremony, whether it’s a Quinceañera, debutante ball, or in this neck of the woods, the time you killed your first deer. They understand that, at a certain age, a young person comes to be seen as an adult in his or her community, and begins to take on adult responsibilities.

People don’t immediately understand, however, what David Duchovny has to do with it.

At thirteen I was devoted to Special Agents Mulder and Scully, dedicated to searching for the truth and committed to trusting no one. So much so that I knew these ideals had to be included in this important life event.  And that’s how, while I was stuck studying Haftorah,  my totally cool mother ended up planning my elaborate X-Files themed Bat Mitzvah party.

Jarmans' dance

Photographic evidence of my 13 year old self, sharing the stage with a full sized alien space ship and DJ’s. You can see my green prom dress, but you can’t see my green braces.

Jarmans aliens

Friendly aliens gave out table assignments in Top Secret folders and created customized FBI photo badges as party favors.

Jarman's green men

Alien favors that read “I found the truth at Rachel’s Bat Mitzvah”

My favorite elements of the theme, to this day, are probably the life size cardboard cutouts of Special Agents Mulder and Scully that stood beside me as I sang a medley of show tunes to family and friends. They lived in my room for about three years after the party.

Explaining this circus of a bat mitzvah to non-Jewish friends, I often encounter a cultural divide.  I have to backtrack and explain that, even though having a thoroughly themed party is pretty common where I grew up, it’s certainly not the rule.  These celebrations come in all shapes and sizes, much like Jews themselves! While a lot about this Jewish rite of passage is mysterious to to the general public, I know my thirteen year old self is awfully glad that after this post, the truth is finally out there.

Posted on February 1, 2013

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