Marriage equality is on the ballot in four states this November – Maryland, Washington, Minnesota, and Maine – and this High Holiday season a number of rabbis are choosing to use their pulpits, or have congregants use them, to encourage support of equal marriage. Over the next few weeks leading up to the election, we’ll share sermons from each state voting on marriage equality. We hope their words of Torah inspire you.
This Rosh Hashanah Jamie Heller delivered this powerful and personal (and yes, humorous!) sermon at Kol Shalom in Rockville, MD. The Hellers are long-time Keshet leaders and supporters – Jamie’s son Daniel is on the Keshet board and Jamie’s wife Debbie is a founding member of the Keshet Parent & Family Connection. See below to learn more about Jews United for Justice (JUFJ), the organization mobilizing the Jewish community in Maryland around marriage equality, and how you can get involved in this effort.
Shana Tovah. Thank you, Rabbi Maltzman, for the honor of allowing me to address all of you this morning.
I want to start, by pointing out that not all problems are that difficult to solve.
One such example occurred just yesterday when my wife plugged a power strip into itself instead of the wall and then could not figure out why her computer wasn’t working.
An example of poor planning was the vacation I purchased on CheapCarribbean.com only to find upon arrival that the hotel and our room were still under construction.
Or the ill effects of hasty planning when I tried teaching our youngest son to parallel park by using our three cars. I accidentally parked two of the cars too close together so when he attempted the impossible task of wedging the third car in between, he damaged not only his self-confidence, but all three of our cars at once.
Unfortunately, not all problems are this simple to solve. Some pertaining to relationships, health, family and, career are truly hard. The one which I want to talk to you about this morning looks hard, but will be easy and obvious in hindsight. I want to talk to you about a civil rights issue.
Civil rights are the rights that belong to each of us as individuals because we are citizens of the United States. They promise us equal protection under our laws and freedom from discrimination. Sounds pretty simple, right? Continue reading
With the High Holidays approaching, and major spiritual heavy lifting to be done, it’s an especially important time of year for LGBT Jews and allies to find inclusive Jewish spaces. If you’re in New York City (and over a million of you are), we’ve located a wonderful synagogue doing great work to make sure all Jews feel included: the Israel Center for Conservative Judaism in Queens.
Creating inclusive Jewish spaces is a great goal — but how do you do it? While the answer is likely different for every synagogue, school, and youth group, it’s helpful and encouraging to hear about others’ successes, triumphs, and their lessons learned.
So we’re starting this regular column to spotlight practices and policies that have worked for Jewish institutions all over the country. We’re calling it “The Tachlis of Inclusion” — tachlis being the Jewish term for the substance of something, the mechanics, the nuts-and-bolts of it.
We’ll share a different story of one synagogue (or school, or camp) finding success on the road to inclusion. We hope they inspire you. We’re always looking for institutions to profile – drop us a note if you have a story to tell and you may end up as next month’s feature!
In this month’s installment of Tachlis of Inclusion, Rabbi Robyn Fryer Bodzin talked with us about how the ICCJ has built a community where individuals and families of every background, configuration, identity, and interest are welcomed and valued. We first met Rabbi Fryer Bodzin in 2008, when she attended a Keshet Training Institute.
There’s a great video of what inclusion looks like at the congregation you lead, Israel Center for Conservative Judaism. What are some of the LGBT-inclusive projects, initiatives, and general stuff you and ICCJ have been working on recently?
Thanks for taking notice of our video. We tried to capture that we truly are a diverse community. At ICCJ, we focus on enabling and encouraging people to travel on their Jewish journeys. We are not a massive synagogue, but we are very diverse. We have a significant Jews by Choice population, and our membership has a 100-year age range. It is just taken for granted that we are LGBT inclusive. For example, on our membership form, we have spaces for Adult 1 and Adult 2, instead of Male or Female. There is no stigma here about one’s sexual orientation.
We heard that you hung our Seven Jewish Values poster up in the synagogue — can you share why, and what responses you’ve received?
The seven values are not just LGBT values, they are universal values. They are what lead to a caring community, which is what we strive to be. The poster is up in our lobby so that when people walk through the doors they will know what they are walking into. Hopefully, everyone, no matter how they identify, will read it and think, “Hey, this is a welcoming community.”
You wrote a beautiful piece in eJewish Philanthropy this past February on the “changing modern Jewish family,” where you shared different ideas about creative inclusive space, and you mentioned attending a Keshet Training Institute. Can you talk about some of ways institutions can cultivate spaces that acknowledge, include and value these modern families?
Thank you. When I look at the young families community at my synagogue, it is hard to ignore how diverse they are. While this community is comprised of single parent families, interfaith families, two mommy families — none of that matters when they are here. They really have molded into a community. They celebrate holidays and Shabbat together. They learn together and share b’nei mitzvah experiences together. A few generations ago, the synagogue was the center and the dad worked and the mom stayed home and everyone came to shul on Shabbat. Nowadays, we need to compete with so much. So sometimes a synagogue experience might be a tweet or reading a Facebook status update, and that is fine for me. Everyone has their own entry point to Jewish institutions, even if some people don’t walk in the door so often. What is important for me is that when people walk in the door, no matter their family structure, they feel welcome.
In many ways, 2012 could be the year of marriage equality* for gay and lesbian couples in the U.S.
There’s been good news so far in 2012; just in the first half of the year, legislatures in Maryland, New Jersey, and Washington passed legislation allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry, and governors in Maryland and Washington signed the legislation into law. Several courts found the federal law that treats gay and lesbian couples who are legally married in one of the eight states and the District of Columbia like legal strangers by the federal government (the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA) unconstitutional. (Without federal law, these couples can’t access the 1,138 federal benefits and obligations of marriage provided to straight couples.)
At the same time, this November voters in five states will consider whether loving, committed gay and lesbian couples can care for one another and their families. Voters in Minnesota are considering a ballot measure that would alter their state’s constitutions to exclude gay and lesbian couples from marriage (note, gay and lesbian couples can’t currently marry there even without these proposed amendments), while North Carolina just passed such a measure. And, voters in Maine, Maryland, and Washington may vote on whether gay and lesbian couples will be able to be legally married in those states.
Even now, only 18% of LGBT Americans live in states with marriage equality, while another 27% live in one of the nine states and D.C. with comprehensive relationship recognition for gay and lesbian couples. In some states have “civil unions,” others have “domestic partnerships.” Three more states give gay and lesbian couples some small number of protections, like the right to dispose of someone’s body or inherit without a will.
Jewish communities are working to ensure that the loudest voices on issues of LGBT equality don’t come from a vocal minority who oppose equality. Strong religious coalitions are active in all of the states mentioned. In February, the Minnesota Rabbinical Association spoke out against the constitutional amendment under consideration there. And, this great resource from Temple Emanuel of Greensboro articulates their opposition to the amendment.
*Note: Advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights often use the term “marriage equality” rather than “gay marriage” or “same-sex marriage.” Using the terms “gay marriage” and “same-sex marriage” can suggest that same-sex couples are asking for rights or privileges that married couples do not have, or asking for something lesser or different. Instead, gay and lesbian couples want the ability to marry the person they love. For more check out this video or this pamphlet.