Breaking News: Mitzvah Tank Parade Loud But Boring

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Here at MJL we were working hard all morning until we were just interrupted by some loud Jewish music and excessive honking. Meredith asked what was happening, and I dryly responded that the Mashiach was probably coming.mitzvah_tanks.JPG

I was being sarcastic, but when we went to look out the window and check it out, I turned out to be more right than I had imagined. We were treated to a lengthy parade of Chabad mitzvah tanks, many blaring loud Jewish music, with kids hanging out the windows, waving at very confused passers-by.

There was no accompaniment to the tanks–it was just tanks (with a police escort) one after the other, apparently in celebration of the Rebbe’s birthday (which is actually Sunday, but they’re pre-gaming, I guess). To get more details on the parade we checked out crownheights.info and found out the following:
This year’s parade will feature fifty-nine fully decorated Mitzvah ‘Tanks’ corresponding to the years of the Rebbe’s leadership since 5710/1950. The ‘tanks’ are to depart from Lubavitch World Headquarters, 770 Eastern Parkway at 10:30am, and will travel across the Manhattan Bridge, down Fifth Avenue into the heart of Manhattan, and will then spread out throughout the New York Metropolitan area, bringing the joy of Pesach to thousands of local men women and children.

The “tanks” will be loaded, complete with Holiday articles including Shmurah Matzah and helpful Passover Guides as well as Tefillin and Shabbat candles, and other Mivtzoim brochures, with the hope of reaching every Yid, to hasten the revelation of Moshiach.

It was pretty amusing, but as parades go, very lame. Come on Chabad, where are the shlichim walking down the street pouring people Manischewitz and tossing candles to the crowds?

Posted on April 2, 2009

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2 thoughts on “Breaking News: Mitzvah Tank Parade Loud But Boring

  1. The Doctor

    Keep this as a memento. That way, when someone asks you why you kept it, you can say “tanks for the memories.”

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