Haikus for Jews

Jewish self-deprecation, in disciplined verse.

The haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that each contains three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, respectively. In the following, the author uses that strict format to poke some fun at Jewish stereotypes, including that of the overbearing Jewish mother, which is always-good for a laugh. 

Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking–
my alarm clock rings.

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams–nice, but
her son is forty.

Monet? Van Gogh? Feh.
Pissarro–a mensch! Did you
know he was Jewish?

After the youngest
recites the Four Questions, the
fifth–when do we eat?

No egg and no cream,
just syrup, seltzer, and milk–
Zen of the egg cream.

Yom Kippur–forgive
me, God, for the Mercedes
and all the lobsters.

Reprinted with permission of the author from Haikus for Jews: For You, a Little Wisdom (Harmony Books).

Discover More

Modern Israel at a Glance

An overview of the Jewish state and its many accomplishments and challenges.

High Holiday Zoom Services: How to Get the Most out of Them

Try these seven tips to make the holiday sacred and special, even if you're not going to synagogue in person.

Black-Jewish Relations in America

Relations between African Americans and Jews have evolved through periods of indifference, partnership and estrangement.